Since this is the first time I’d doing one of these show write-ups, I suppose there’s a programming PSA needed to start this. What I’m intending to do isn’t complicated, or anything more than just reviewing a wrestling show. Just some simple match ratings, watch recommendations, overall thoughts, and I get out. There’s no methodology to me picking the shows aside from the fact I’m going to try to put out one or two of these each month of the year. Should be nice and easy to digest, so with that, the 19th edition of New Japan Pro Wrestling’s Wrestle Kingdom is on the docket.
It’s hard to pick out a single verb to describe the show. Good or bad rarely does a show justice, and saying this show was disappointing would be wrong too. I’ve said it before when it comes to booking, and execution aside, New Japan booked, delivered, and got exactly what they deserved. The show is poor, was unremarkable considering where it took place, and in two months time, I’m sure we’ll all have forgotten all but the major details from the show. More on my overall thoughts on the end.
#1 Contenders Rambo Match
Image via New Japan Pro Wrestling
Ok, so obviously the rambo match is as close as you can get to a Wrestle Kingdom staple. It gets some of the old guys on the card, and can make for some fun guest appearances of whatever, but this year this glorified rumble is for a IWGP title shot. There’s something that’s a bit offensive about the promotion pretending this matters, especially when Yujiro Takahashi, KENTA, and Alex Zayne are being sent out to participate, but at the end of the day, Goto winning feels like the obvious and most correct choice. Unfortunately, this is still more than 30 minutes of your time, mostly lazy and uninspired, no real cool guest appearances or returns, and all around not worth your time.
Recommendation: Maybe watch the list 2 minutes for the Goto win, otherwise, skip.
Rating: Not writing all these names down in the spreadsheet
IWGP Junior Tag Title Ladder Match
Image via New Japan Pro Wrestling
Again, it’s tradition to throw as many junior heavyweights into a Wrestle Kingdom match, to get them all on the card. That feels particularly unnecessary nowadays, as there’s not even four junior heavyweights, much less four junior teams, that are worth caring about in the company at the moment. Kevin Knight has some nice high spots here and there, and there’s a few ugly landings too, but this predictably boils down to Catch 22 and the Sweet Boys at the end, before Fujita and Eagles leave with the belts. As for a overall generalization of quality, this is a low level Americanized plunder match, which lasts a pretty long feeling 13 minutes. Unessential at best.
Recommendation: Skip It
Rating: Meh
IWGP Women’s Title Match: (c) Mayu Iwatani vs. AZM
Image via New Japan Pro Wrestling
A nice surprise, this one. There is part of me that’s bothered that the women’s belt is being used as an opener, even if it’s on the dome show, but for something that goes less than 9 minutes, this really does maximize the general style the women of Stardom usually go for. Now, part of the appeal is seeing Mayu get a Dome match. That’s the intangible little nugget that’ll mean more or less to you depending on who you are, but the energy she brings from the very second her grin widens during her entrance is something that captivated me a little more than I thought it would.
As for the match itself, it’s every little cool thing both women can do packed into a short match. The downtime, what little of it exists, is filled with some real nice sympathetic neck selling from Mayu, but otherwise this is the best kind of go-go-go pacing AZM has in most of her matches. There isn’t much of the overused counter based control switches that plague Stardom bouts either, just a couple of top rope misses and some strikes change control, and coupled with some great bumping, this whole thing flows real well.
A perfect little slice of what this corner of joshi produces at its best, and secretly, one of Mayu’s best defenses simply because she wasn’t asked to do too much.
Recommendation: Worth your time
Rating: ***3/4
NJPW TV Title Four-Way: (c) Ren Narita vs. Jeff Cobb vs. El Phantasmo vs. Ryohei Oiwa
Image via New Japan Pro Wrestling
Like the junior tag, this is here just to get more people on the card. Hell, I had no idea Narita had even won the TV belt, I guess part of me was hoping they got rid of the stupid thing.
As for the others, first, Cobb and El Phantasmo, both of who are far from my favorites, and Oiwa, who’s taken a step back for me personally since his return from NOAH. Unfortunately, this match is more about these the two I dislike than the pair I actually like. I suppose ELP coming back from beating cancer and overcoming the odds or whatever is a nice little story in idea — and seriously, beating cancer is worth praising, that is a massive accomplishment — but there’s problems with wrestling, which is what I’m here to talk about. Not a sympathetic wrestling performance from ELP, nor does Cobb work as a bully. Narita is there to stooge and Oiwa doesn’t even get much to do despite being his first Dome match, that and, this being a four-way, makes me hate it more than I probably should. The match type is lazy, matches only revolve around spots, and when you have this group of names, not even the spots are interesting. Congrats to ELP I guess, I’d imagine this is a cool moment if you’re a fan of him, which, that I am not.
Recommendation: Skip It
Rating: Bad
Lumberjack Match: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. EVIL
Go ace.
I do not have tell anyone that Hiroshi Tanahashi cannot move like he used to. I say that because if for some reason this is your first Tanahashi match, (you never know, anything is possible) the moving parts of this match would probably be a little jarring. Otherwise, the whole presentation itself is the classic trope of the cartoon heels getting comeuppance from the heroes, and despite no reasonable person buying the retirement stipulation, they do a pretty good job creating some nearfalls. The magic of classic heat segments and signature spots, I suppose.
Of course, the Shibata run in to save Tana is cool as hell, but I like the little moments of Shine that Oleg and Wato get as lumberjacks too. Hell, Dick Togo in the Tokyo Dome is always cool as well. Nothing is here for the brain, if you’ve watched any amount of the ace’s matches, or even just understand a fifth of his importance the the lion brand, I think you’ll get a lot out of this.
A wonderful way to kick off the retirement tour.
Recommendation: You’ll know if it’s for you
Rating: ❤️
AEW International Title / NEVER Openweight Title: (c) Shingo Takagi vs. (c) Konosuke Takeshita
Image via New Japan Pro Wrestling
Feels like the word ‘lazy’ is coming up quite a bit so far, but its the perfect way to describe this match too.
Now, I’m all for meathead wrestling matches. Sometimes there’s nothing better than two big dudes crashing into each other. But when it’s strictly just that, with some of the striking being spotty and there’s no real struggle of either man looking like they’re trying to power through, you get dull stuff like this. I get it, some of the classic NEVER tropes in here will pop the crowd, but compare this to the very best meathead classics in BJW, or even the Ishii match the very next night, this is pretty clearly the very worst side of the New Japan house style. This doesn’t hit hard, much less hit at all.
Recommendation: Skip It
Rating: Bad
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: (c) Douki vs. El Desperado
Image via New Japan Pro Wrestling
Unfortunately for these two, Douki messes up either his arm of elbow pretty seriously five minutes into this match. Can’t say I was too interested in where it was going, but a bummer it gets cut short on that note nonetheless.
Recommendation: Skip It
Rating: No Rating
IWGP Global Heavyweight Title: (c) David Finlay vs. Yota Tsuji
Image via New Japan Pro Wrestling
It’s been a great turnaround for David Finlay, a monumental leap forward from the place he was 365 days ago, where he captured the global title at 2024’s Wrestle Kingdom. What I’m telling you is that this match is made by him. He’s efficient in this match, great control segments, fantastic stooge bumping, and some pretty vicious power offense. Tsuji continues to leave a poor impression on me though, he’s completely unlikable as a babyface throughout, and his effort only seems to pick up in the final five minutes, where he starts pushing the match past any logical limits. Luckily, Finlay sort of forces Tsuji into being a better babyface just by being so efficient, so his title win does feel big when it does happen.
Generally though, there’s some pacing issues and the ugly side of the aforementioned Nooj style does rear its ugly head down the stretch, but as a capper to the Finlay reign, I enjoyed this for what it was. A good match, but the Finlay defenses against YOSHI-HASHI, Hirooki Goto, and Taichi from last year still all feel at least one step ahead of this one.
Recommendation: Maybe?
Rating: (A generous) ***1/2
Hiromu Takahashi vs. Tetsuya Naito
Image via New Japan Pro Wrestling
Unlike Hiroshi Tanahashi, Tetsuya Naito is still pretending he’s the best version of himself. Same goes for his dance partner, although the appeal of Hiromu was never at the heights of Naito, much less Tanahashi.
So what do they do?
Wrestle nearly 20 minutes. In the semi-main event spot. It’s boring, directionless, sloppy, and despite both men’s connection with the Japanese audience, not even the crowd gave a single shit. Don’t even get me started on the fake LIJ in-fighting will they-won’t they BS, this in the semi-main event spot is a hilarious oversight that even a blind person would have seen coming.
Recommendation: Skip It
Rating: Awful
IWGP World Heavyweight Title: (c) Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Shota Umino
Image via New Japan Pro Wrestling
Speaking of oversights, Shota Umino is main eventing the Tokyo Dome.
No, just no.
All the stupid people that fell for the build by eating up painfully average tag matches ought to be ashamed of themselves. This is 45 minutes of nothing. No urgency, no connective threads of any kind, flat out nothing. Like some kind of sorority girl I spent the majority of this things runtime the a insatiable urge to start scrolling through Instagram, or do anything but look at this match. My phone was calling despite being silenced, and it had never rung so loud. What a sad microcosm of the world that analogy was, but I’m trying to tell you that this suuuuuucked.
Like I said to start this thing, you get what you book.
Recommendation: Skip It
Rating: Awful
Final Thoughts
I wish had more so say. I was excited to jump into one of these, get one of these reviews out, and as I scroll back up and see how little I’ve written it makes me feel a bit ashamed. But I have nothing else to offer. The show was uninspired in the worst way possible, every bit of the same things 2024 conjured up, all the same things I was hoping wrestling could leave behind. As we trudge forward into the year I hope there’s more impactful things to review, and I hope that when they do my passion for this stupid little thing called pro wrestling can come across in my words. Because if everything I’ve written above feels empty, I’m not going to disagree with you, because that’s how I feel reflecting on the show.
Final Rating: Bad
Kyle Ginsbach 